It was a very crazy time for me in the school, and I just finished the 1st quarter which took about 3 months long in School of Dance Studies.. Imagine a Thai girl who absolutely didn't know much about the Western dances, and she has tried to catch up with many new thing in the school, and in the same time she has to deal with the 2nd language of lecture studies and technique classes. Many time I was overwhelmed with enotional, and I found out myself listen to the lairs. The school is tough, but I have came very far. Last week was the most tough week of mine when I thought through 2 final exams, turning in our timeline project, and to be understudy in Steve Rooks' peice for the whole week. I must confess that I have a hard time in memorize the dance history lectures, I knew that I undestood some, but when I came out from the class, everything was gone! I turned my paper works in, and I got a good grade on it, but I didn't really remember what I did. . . When I sit on the exam time, I was struggling that I have no answer for the test. Our staffs have been a big helpful to us, but still I didn't do my part very well.. I came to the part that I'm so frustated and discouraged because I have no time on studying to make myself understand very clear about the class and studying. Then a couple missionary who had led me to Christ in the past give me a wisdom words that my God never gave such a heavy burden to me, he knows deeply how much I can bear, and he tursts in me, so it brought me back to humble myself and believe in his promise. God is so good to comfort me again when I loose my mind somewhere about who God is.

I'm having a two weeks break from school, so right now I'm in Chicago, but before I got in Chicago I had to wait for a day in the airport to get in the sirplane, I found myself praying to God that I'm letting him to do his work in me, I want to go to Chicago, but I got the stand by ticket, if he wants me to go to Chicago in that day,I'll go by faith. I ended up that day by calling somebody that I never known to pick me up from the airport in Missoula coz I couldn't make it. It's akeward for me, but God brought me to have a new friend who used to be student in the same school that I'm doing right now. We have such a good time, and I felt peace inside as I knew God is doing something in me. Then I went back to the airport again in a very early morning to get in the morning flight, and at this time I really felt God will take me out from Missoula, and it happened. I got to Chicago, but nobody knew that I was coming, my friend were at Church, so I called, and I didn't have much coins to make any other call, so I just only left a message in that calling and waited patiently at the airport with hope for someone to pick me up. It went couple hour, and nobody showed up, so I prayed again by faith. In next 15 mins my friend whom I left message in his phone showed up, and I got to go with him. I had such a wonderful time with them, and I'm thanksful to God for everything. I was nervous to travel alone,and this time was a big challenge for me, and I don't want to do it in the 1st time, but God is taking a good care of me, and he is with me.. That's wonderful... I've learned so much during these two days..

I'm looking forward for the next quarter of school, I hope that I'll learned from God so much more, and I'll hold my focus on him very well. Will get on update before the Christmas!! (hope so)

Blessings,
Kate

In the dance school

Another time of learning a new thing which I first was frustated so much, and when I reached to the 4th week of the school, I just found out there is more fun to find out what I really like. This week has been an awesome week for me as we were studying Modern dance with Jolene, the founder of the School Of Dance Studies in Montana. I was so amazed when she had me on her piece, but I graded myself very low on this kind of dance because I hadn't take any class, so God worked through her to get me come across of my natural abilities. Right now I kinda like the modern dance more than other kind because it's my body, and I just have to listen to my body how it wants to move! I felt like I just discovered myself in the new way, and God turns me to another level of trusting, knowing him as a creator, and his creation as me.


Last Friday we performed this dance, and praise God that I got many good feed back as encouragement to remind me that I'm in the right place. I went off serval time with different emotion and questioning myself. Through this week what I've seen is that God is so strong in me as I'm very weak. All these matters weren't come from me, but it came from my God. Oh,,, the Scriptures that brought Jolene to teach us this piece is on Isaiah 40:28-31, so I felt right on the piece as I'm weary, and God gives such a powerful strength.


I do miss my home, my friends, my favorite places and movies!!! Last week was hard because I was down too much in homesick, and I couldn't sense how God desired to comfort me, so I went out of the base with word that kept repeating in my mind "it's ok". I cried, not too hard, and I had such a wonderful time with God out in the cold, but I love that time so much. I've learned to lean on him and to look to him. Then I had a new friend from DTS took be out for ice-cream, my favorite thing ever!


Another thing that I must mention about, coz I'm not sure when I'll do my blog agian, is that my future. I wanna do the School Of Worship, and there are serval thing that I must consider. Montana is great, but I'm not sure if I'll be alright with the winter for another year, and the School Of Worship in Thailand is starting right away after my School Of Dance Studies over. I really want to take a month off to not do any thing because this school make me work so hard, and I'll miss the dancing so much if I'll be in another school for 6 months. So I'm praying and listening to God what he wants me to do.


Alright, must go now.

Hey everyone,

Thanks so much for having been reading my journal on the page. I haven't update it such a long time, for I really want to write down an impact story to my life, but I believe there will be many story that push me to write down into words here in next 6 months.

I helped out in the Smoothies Shop near by the Mae Fa Luang University in July after the DTS was over. God revealed my personal issue in my hardship time when I wasn't accepted in the way I am at that time from my close friend. I'd been trying so hard to make people accept me,and I lost my own self sometimes. When my close friend denied me, I started to look to God and make decision on helping out at the shop. In meantime, I did learn about my freedom in Christ, and I knew that God wants me to be happy not in pain of who I am.Anyway, I had such a beautiful time there with all relationship from people that God put into my life.

Switch gear down to Bangkok in August a bit, I was glad to see my friends around. After awhile I went back home to visit my family and friends who work in Tsunami area. My sister has been in trouble with the school a lot because she skip the school, and hung out with guy. When I spent time with her in last 3 weeks, I found out that she deeply wants to have friend. She is teenager, and she wants someone who understand her need and to guide her what good to do, but she chose a wrong friend to follow. To be honest, I was give up with my sister many time,and I thought that my parents deserve all kind of fruits which happen because of lacking descipline. God turned me to see that it wasn't only my parents fault, but it was work of my enemies as well. Lairs has been seeded in my sister mind, and it's bearing such a bad fruit right now. So I must pray for my sister and still love her beacause God loves her so much, too. It causes me to cry when I saw my mom was hopeless when she didn't know where my sister is in each time as the school called. It produces division among my family when each one of them turn their back on each other, so God taught me to move in the opposite spirit. My brothers and sisters in Christ, I can't fight in this battle alone, so please pray and fight with me for my family that they will become family in Christ.

I'm going to leave Thailand in September 6, which is very soon. This is a big step for me to take as I have to leave all problems behind and to trust that God is in control.As a vision in my heart will become true, enemies try to put me down badly. I'm struggling in many area, so I need lots of prayers that I'll overcome my own selfishness and have same characters of Jesus Christ. I believe God never left me out in the dark that he won't do anything else to save me. I'm praying for my life will be leading by Holy Spirit so that the fruits of Holy Spirit will be within me for his glory and his Kingdom.

Season of my life is changing now, and I'm ready to jump in with God! May his goodness will be known, and people will glorify of his name. Amen!

Life has been so tough at the moment which brings me to the point of giving up. Since I've staffing DTS school up in ChiangRai, I've learned so much through people and situations. I used to think it could be easy to hang out with people and make friend with them. The time I'm working with people can be time of getting to know myself better. I've found I'm very strong will person, and it takes risk for people to reach to me. Grief inside of my heart keeps pouring out because of myselfishness, and I broke down manytime when I face with it. God gave such a great friend, Mae, coz she opened my eyes to see that friend is not just how good I am, but it's about love purely from God. She is going to love me as I am not just because I'm mature person and I did good in everything. The real love which I've touched right now helps me to look to God much better, for there is a hole in me that I need someone to fill me up, and God reveals himself through my friend.



I'm used to have only friendship with people,but I haven't done to the part of partnership to accomplish some tasks together, and in this DTS I was practicing on those stuff. Yep, when it was hard, I was ready to quite, and run away, but what is in God's heart was different. He wants to see me grow through this hardship time. He wants to bring me closer to my friend and work out our relationship in the better way. I was hopeless to deal with myself, I felt I'm a jerk and I'm nobody to anyone. God met in the midst of my self-rejection, and I'm releasing to the bondage that I haven't relized before. God is good always! I understood myself where I'm at better. I can reach to other easily because these self rejection couldn't limit me in God's ministry. I'm standing up to fight with it, and God is my side.

What zup,

Time flies so fast, life runs so slow. I felt like I don't have much time to process what's happening in me, but what I know is that I'm going to travel to Pattaya with my team and stay there for 5 weeks.

I'm struggling in my own insecure that I care so much of others' thinking. I don't have much confident to do something, and I always ask myself if I did good enough. Sometimes I went to someone and talked about the stuff that I was wrong, but no one cares about it. Anyway, I'm learning to let it go and to keep my eyes on to Jesus. Jesus didn't please himself, but he chose to please his people, and I'm practicing to support others and to care for them more than myself. An excuse I love to use is that I'm a kind of introverted person, so I like to isolate myself and can't get into deep relationship with anyone. Now I learn to be balance, and I sense God honors what I'm willing to do.

I'm exciting to go back down in Central area coz I miss my crew so much. I have appiontment of visa interview on June 1, in Bangkok, so I'm going to see my dearest friend as well. Praise God, I'm exciting what he is doing in my life, but at the same time I'm controlling myself to make today as the best day for him.

Blessings,

Kate

Hey,I've been busy so much after the first mini-outreach finished because I'm bad to organize and keep following my schedule.I love my life in the DTS which is about fellowship, building up each other with love and all the teaching through speakers & God's revealation. Last month we went out to HuaNamRin village, and our works were laying sement, digging dirt, pulling down the old Church and moving stuff around in the Church. It was a great experience to all of us in the team, but I did miss my dad as we used to work together for our new house, but at this time I had much joy because we worked in a team of Christ. Moreover, God gave us a specific thing to pray about, and we were amazed of God's faithfulness. I can say that we did a geart job for the village, and I love each one of my team because everyone laid down their own right to make team as a team.

I relized how much I've been allowing lairs live in my mind such a long time, since we learned about sin & repentance. My past, my rejection root with my mom effected me badly in the past 23 yrs, so when God confornted me about my attitude of my hearts and how I responded to my mom in the wrong way because of my painful emotionals, I came to the point of confess and ask for forgiveness from the Lord. The most powerful word I've not heard before is "I forgive you,my daughter", which came from God right after I confessed my sin and bitterness. God is great to me always.

I got more confirmation from the Lord about his purpose of my life, and I'm amazed of my Christianility life in the last 6 yrs. God has put me in the place to prepare the way of other people to come and reap. God is going to use my character to bring none-Christain to know about Christianility, so I'm really exciting to jump in the challenging way and make the way for the greater people to come. I love to be a pioneer, and there is a time for my life to be at some place for a while, but I believe that I will be in some places in long term as well. I'm happy with my life now to find new thing to do and enjoy my single life.

Only few day left that we will go out for a great outreach which we don't have any plan set up before hand, and we are going to lean on God totally!! I'm so exciting to jump on,and I must stand firm in God's word so that I will experience him differently. Hope to post up my journey of the next outreach soon!

It's hard to believe that I'm still alive!! ;0 . . . . . I have no clue where my energy came from since I came back from Bangkok. My life was challenged to stand and take up more responsibilities as Melissa couldn't be with us any more. It was my hard time,for I sensed the same feeling of my friend dying in my DTS. I didn't get much time to fight myself, but I had to head out to get all thing done for the school. Anyway, the school already started almost 2 weeks.

I began to understand more of God's revealation in both prayers and worship. Last week all of us learned about prayer life, and this week is our worship week. I must confess that I've longed to meet with Hudson family so much. I met them in Bangkok last Christmas, but I do miss them and I feel home as they are here. I can't understand myself well enough because I felt that everything is changing there, and there is no place for me to go back, and I didn't feel get along with any team. I left Bangkok so long, but I do miss my friends and other families down there. I almost cry everytime when I get emails and phone calls from them.But last Christmas down in Bangkok, I dealt too much with my emotion. Hudson family has only 1 day left with us in the school, and I'm going to miss them so much. All teaching that they gave are a confirmation to my future.But only God has a permanent plan to me, I'm seeking it.

Tonight was good night to me, for we had a great worship. I had a good time with my God really that I opened to him and touched his love. Only thing I can offer is my heart, since I've been giving my heart into lots of thing. I miss my family down in Phangnga as well because this school is kinda family to me, and I love to be around the students. There are challengings, problems and thing I have to deal with, but God extends his grace for me to step out without fear. I'm arising to worship God, and I love to have freedom on worshiping God like tonight. God is great!! He is so faithful, for he knows how much need I have. Praise God!

This pic is for Melissa, one of our staff who is going to go back home in the end of this month. I love her, I want to get to know her more. I love to work with her, and I believe that one day we will meet each other again. God bless you, my dear friend!