Hey, I'm just not sure how much I wanna pour out about me right now! It's kinda hard time to find where I'm at with God since it has been busy with serving in 2 ministries and house sitting somewhere away from where I work. I got upset easily with people who've been annoying me both with words and actions. However, today I just felt my limit of being good and nice will be torn down somehow, but God rescues me on time. There was a sharing about our attitude toward our beloved brother and sister who falls in sin. We usually judge them, and we try to hide our problem or try to not getting caught when we're sin because it's shameful to stand up and confess our sin to others or we may want to blame people who fall in sin. However, God's love is different from what I'm responding to people. I'm quickly judge them and want to stay away from them, and I admit that it's hard to love people or forgive or accept them. God show me just a great example of Jesus, and I believe God did something in our heart to people in Ram II base here. Something that we call the power of the perfect love, and it will cast out the fear, and the love that make us understand about his mercy so that we may change from the inside out. It's cool that I just once again meditate on it..

Thanks to God for his teaching me, and I can't wait to spend a moment in a quiet place with him alone! God is good! His kindness, goodness and mercy will lead us to repentance.

Blessings,
Gade

Hey, I've been away from keeping my journal up to date, and I don't want to blame any of works because it just me don't try to make it happen =(...

However, my life is doing ok. I'm not been healthy enough for both physical and spiritual way. I don't eat much, and I don't pursue my workout schedule at all. I've been lay back from truly seeking God in my devotional. I put up with my friend to have devotional time together, and I've leading him to grow in God, but I felt like I have no more to give him since I'm so dry and hardly keeping my excitement life with the Lord. I found myself forcing itself to go beyond my strength, and I felt 2 ways: one is that I show my honest hunger for God, but in the other hand, I just pretend that I can do it!! Well, don't be confused like I'm right now=)


God's challenging me to be endure and persevere toward his goal. I got so many attractions from doing what I suppose doing. Once is my sin which keep holding me back, and the second one is my behavior of addicted stuff like Korean series, noble reading, and doing crazy thing when I get bored. God corrected me to live in Holy life, and don't treat it like Esau did with the right of being the Oldest son when he treated it with only one meal. I admit that there are many time I fall in temptation, and I try to get up on my feet many time, but over and over that I fall and try to get up. So I truly need prayers to have faith that Jesus would keep me holy as his bridge. Please keep praying for me that I'll overcome my weaknesses. The more I'm ministering to other people, the more I'm struggling with my own thing. And I wanna live out freely with hope.

I'm trying to be endure and persevere, please pray for me. Thank you so much.

Blessings,
Gade

Dear all,

A short message to let you know that I'm clam down from what is freaking me out right now. I suppose to be up in ChiangMai for the Asia Pacific Conference for performing and as translator. Usually, we got budget from people who run the Conference to help us, but in this time there is no money at all. I already trained some dancers to dance in my piece, and when I got an email saying there is no budget for our transportation and housing.. I just don't know how to respond to this email. However, I'm not freaking out that our team can't perform as a Thai team since we got invitation. I'm going to do my best with hope, and I'll do it until to the end and wait to see God moves among us.. It's a big challenge, but I'm ready for it!!!! Also, pray for me to be in the realistic world as well, there may be time of sacrificing, and there can be a time of stand for one another. Who knows, God may want to change our perspective of dancers in my team.. Please pray that I'll hear God's word carefully.. Praise God for who he is.. The provider, the faithful one..

I'm doing alright recently. Still have fun with job in the office and hanging out with my old friends who came to visit me in Bangkok.

Hey,

I'm off from the office in about a week and half, and I'm joining the prayer team to go down South of Thailand. We want to pray according for God has showing us, and we want to be part of this battle for Thai people. Please pray that we'll travel safe, and we will be interceding for the LOST... May God provide the divine appointment -) I'm so exciting to go, and I can't wait to join with journey!

Last Saturday one of my good friend was getting marriage, and I post up a picture here, and also one of my very close friend is getting marriage in this weekend, so I'm going to be there for them.. Yay!!

I don't really know where I should beging with this update, since I've been through lots of thing,and each thing takes much of time to share. I completely discourage with friendship when we are on our flesh desire. Also, I'm searching for God's heart of seeing myself in his perspective and other people. I need the light to shine on me and take me to the right way, and I want that light to shine from inside out as I'm living for Christ.

God has been faithful to me. Although I'm struggling to trust for his provision, he kindly show me what he wants me to do. My support money reduces more than 2000 baht ($55), and I had many idea come through my mind, and I suppose to raise support, but I felt God challenges me to take this opportunity to bless the fellow staff who face the same thing like me and pray for one other. I have such peaceful heart to trust that he will make a way for me to receive enough support.

I've seen division among our family, and I really need to fight for the peace by doing the spiritual warfare and seek to understand and comfort others. I'm looking to my heart, and from now on I want to make it right before God and others. Please please please keep praying for me.

Blessings & much love..
Gade

What has been in my heart recently is stiring up in me to reach out to the lost....And I kinda question myself how I reach to them?

Today I experience a great confusion of lies that people have heard and believed, and I just curious what I suppose to do.. There is an uncle who sits next to the YWAM office everyday, for his business takes place underneath YWAM building. Also, today was group came in our Soi to give away some tracks that I don't know what is about. I walked in today, and I felt like God challenges me to spend time talking to this uncle whom I greet him everytime I see him. So I walked in, and he said he got something to give it to me. When I checked out the tracks, I'm pretty sure that it's not about Christianity, but it's similar, too. I asked some questions, and I found out that uncle read through it already. So I told him to not believe in it, but he asked some questions about Christ. I told him that Jesus is the only way to go to heaven, and he told me different story about Christ... He doesn't believe that there is God in this universe, and he mess up the story of Christ to be someone else that I never heard about.. It hurts because he doesn't know the truth, and I don't know where he got this information from. The enemies works so hard to lie to him, and his eyes, ear, mind, and heart are completely shut for the truth, for he hold what he knew as the truth.

One thing I found out in my relationship with God is that God loves him still.. I felt just a glimpe of his grieve, but his love never grown weary for that uncle.. When I came in my office and pray for this uncle.. My mind was full of ways to avoid this uncle since he didn't want to believe what I believe, and I thought there is no business to deal with him..But God turns my thought upside down, for he wants me to keep loving with guy and give him help anytime that I have opportunity..My respond to God is about loving this man, and I have to hold on to God to reveal his truth to me so that I can live it out. . . . . . . I'm thankful to God that he is with me, and he kindly show me how to walk in this situation.. Here what I wanna share and remind myself of how deep of my Father love..

The Narrow Gate to HEAVEN. . . .

I liked the truth of Luke 19:1-10, story of Jesus and Zacchaeus. Maybe many people have read this passages, and God reveals in different thing, and God revealed me whose heart that he is looking for. Several months in Montana, I completely trust and have faith in God, but I'm lacking of the knowledge of God. In the other hand, I just didn't give my time to God for getting to know him better. Zacchaeus' heart was about to see Jesus, and he climbed up on the tree because he was seeking Jesus. God is faithful of who he is, so Jesus came to Zacchaeus, and he even more surprised Zacchaeus for going to Zacchaeus' house. Then I've seen how soft of Zacchaeus' heart when Jesus came to him as a friend who doesn't care what a sinner he is, so he repented with the action of faith, and Jesus revealed his love and salvation to him. I hope that I would be like Zacchaeus,for I quickly turn to God many times when I have sin, but it was because I felt guilty. At this time what I've learned through this passage is that God requires me a heart of hunger to see Jesus personally so that he would make me to absolutely repentant.

I listened to a song calls "Mighty to save" by Hillsongs church in Aus, and I love the word "Author of Salvation".. . . . . How wonderful that I have Jesus as a Author of Salvation who seeks for me, and who will lead me to worship him. I remembered myself dance in worship time for a couple time, and before I got to do that I refused to dance because I knew that I didn't have a right attitude. But God did break through, so I just love for being there and dance freely in worship for him. Because I know that he is worthy for me to be obey him and glorify his name... This is my love for him, my God who accept my messyness, and he never turned away from me, when I call for him. He is bigger than I can think of, and his imaginations are incredible.






This is a couple from my Chicago trip... I like them so much because they have been showing me a Jesus' heart for his people. I miss them so much =) By the way, I miss all of people back in Thailand and other places as well. I used to pity on myself of my personal issue, and I also can't make any relationship even deeper with anyone. This is the cost I have to pay, and through this moment I do believe God prepares me for something ahead. I know that I never been alone, but sometimes I need people whom I knew and trust. . Now I'm tired of building trust in new people whom I'm going to leave them again. Anyway, this is how I feel. . . . and I hope that I'll get over it sometimes.